All Change
by Storybookgirl77
Summary: Barrow is back at Downton, John & Anna are parents and life at the 'big house' is changing forever. Will Thomas Barrow find love? Will Cora and Robert continue as they have been?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I don't own Downton Abbey. ITV and Julian Fellows owns all. No copyright infringement is intended and should not be inferred.

1

Thomas looked out over the beautiful grounds of the Abbey as the car transporting the Dowager Countess left the grounds. He smiled slightly, uncertain exactly how he felt about stepping into Mr Carson's shoes. One thing he did know was that he was glad to be back at the Abbey.

"Mr Barrow." He turned to see young George run up to him, full of excitement. "Mr Barrow!"

"Hello Master George." He scooped the youngster up in his arms. "How are you today?"

"Sybbie said you'd come home! My mummy is having a baby!"

"Really? Then you'll be a big brother."

"Yes, I will." The young boy nodded. "I'm glad your home. Aunt Edith is taking Marigold to London! That's a long way away!"

"It is, but I'm sure they'll be happy and they'll visit lots." He watched as George nodded before being set back on his feet. A decidedly female voice called George's name.

"Lady Mary."

"Barrow." She smiled. "I hope George isn't bothering you."

"No, not at all."

"He's not the only one who is pleased to see you return." She smiled as she led her son back into the great house. Sighing heavily he hoped she was right.

Xxxxxxx

"Cora!" Robert walked through the library as he called his wife's name. The visit from his mother had put his nerves on edge. "Cora!"

"Yes? Oh Robert; calm down. Honestly, you need to think of your ulcer." She smiled slightly. "Your mother will calm down. You know she likes to make her opinions heard. Times are changing and she just has to accept it."

"That." Robert tugged at his collar. "Is easy to say."

"Give her time." Cora smiled slightly. "She'll come round."

"Well, yes but I can't believe she's approved of Isobel remarrying." Robert shook his head. "Do you think Barrow is taking to his new position?"

"Carson is there to support him. I think he'll be just fine."

"What about Anna? Returning to work just after a baby? Is that wise?"

"It's what Anna wants and we should support her. Robert, don't fret so. The world is changing and we just have to keep up." She kissed him gently on the cheek before leaving the room. Robert sat down wondering just how much more change they could take.

Xxxxxx

A/N worth going on?


	2. Chapter 2

2

Mrs Patmore wiped her hands on a tea towel as she surveyed her kitchen. The room was almost empty, with the rest of the staff all attending to their duties. Smiling, she relished these times alone. Picking up her favourite mixing bowl she headed towards the pantry knowing exactly what the evening meal would consist of.

"Mrs Patmore." She turned as she heard Mr Carson call her name. A dark haired man stood beside him looking nervous.

"Hello Mr Carson. Who is this?"

"Mrs Patmore, I'd like you to meet our new footman. This is Dafydd Evans. Joins us from an estate in North Wales."

"Wales? Lovely place. I dare say you'll settle in. Mr Carson and Mr Barrow will look after you." She smiled. "I'm going to visit Anna and the baby after luncheon. I'll be less than an hour."

"Very well." Carson sighed. "Dafydd is joining us tomorrow."

"Welcome lovely. Now if you don't mind I need to get on." She walked away as Carson ushered the young man out of the kitchen. Dafydd looked around, clearly nervous around the older man.

"You've met Mrs Carson, His Lordship and Mr Bates."

"Yes, Mr Carson." Dafydd nodded as they walked along the stone walked corridor.

"That just leaves Mr Barrow. The butler."

"But I thought you were the butler."

"I am." Carson paused. "Mr Barrow is also a butler here. I'm the senior butler." He paused. "My function is to advice and support the more junior members of the household."

"Like a favourite uncle?"

Carson smiled at the analogy.

"If you will. Ah, Mr Barrow." Carson called across the hallway to where Thomas was walking back into the main house. Thomas nodded and smiled slightly, remembering his promise to Baxter that he would endeavour to be a better man. The young blonde man caught his eye.

"Mr Carson. Who do we have here?"

"Thomas Barrow, this is our new footman. Dafydd Evans. Joining us from Prestatyn."

"Welcome to Downton." Thomas smiled. He instantly liked the Welshman. His dark blue eyes caught him by surprise and for a moment he could barely bring himself to look away. Dafydd smiled back, clearly happy with what he saw.

"Diolch." He shook himself. "I mean, thank you." Thomas smiled, the lyrical welsh accent amusing him. "The Hughes family spoke Welsh a lot of the time. It's habit."

"Using ones mother tongue is not a habit and should never be apologised for." Carson stated firmly. "Welsh is a beautiful language."

"Indeed it is. Although, I won't pretend to understand a word of it." Thomas smiled. "I hope you enjoy your time here." He turned before heading into the Great Hall where Mrs Hughes was preparing the flowers. Carson lead the new boy away, towards the servants quarters so that he could begin to settle in.

"Thomas!" Mrs Hughes smiled. "Och, you gave me a wee start."

"Sorry." He paused. "I must get on."

"As must I." She regarded him for a moment. "Are you well?"

"May I ask you something?" He paused as she nodded. "It may seem a foolish thing to ask but how many people know about my attempt at. At what I did?"

"Myself, Carson, Mr Moseley, Miss Baxter and Lady Mary." She watched as he closed his eyes. "I believe Mrs Patmore has an idea that something happened. None of us went into detail. The staff know that you were unwell and that you had treatment."

"The scars on my wrists."

"Are barely visible." She smiled at him. "I can't begin to understand what led you to that dark place but I know that once your spirit has hit the floor the only way is the sky." He nodded once before turning away from her.

"Thank you Mrs Hughes."

"Oh Thomas, you've done some things I've not and cannot condone but." She paused. "You were twelve years old when you came here. A little scrap of a thing. I've watched you grow, I've watched you, Anna, Daisy and Tom all grow into fine people. But you've seen the error in what you've done and you've fought the devil himself to become the man you are. I couldn't be prouder of you than if you were my own son." She squeezed him arm. "Don't dwell on the past, you'll find doing so ruins the future." He nodded, eyes filled with tears.

"I."

"Go on now, we both have work to do." She turned back to her flowers as he slipped out the room.

Xxxxxxcc

"Miss Sybil Branson! What are you doing?" Tom laughed as his only child giggled. The little girl was as mischievous as her late mother had been. Tom sighed, knowing that every day he saw more of his late wife in the girl than he had ever thought possible.

"Marigold did it!"

"Did not!" Marigold laughed. Tom rolled his eyes as George pulled a face before running across to the rocking horse.

"Oh!" Sybbie giggled. "George!"

"Not I!" The little boy laughed.

"Ok, so not Miss Marigold." Tom watched his daughter. "And not Master George." Sybbie giggled uncontrollably. "Then it must be Miss Sybil Branson."

"Yes!"

"It must be Miss Sybil Branson that has not put her dolls away!" Sybbie laughed as Cora walked into the room.

"They remind me so much of Mary and Sybil at that age."

"I miss her." Tom paused. "Everyday I miss her."

"I know." Cora smiled. "I do too. She'd be so proud of you and Sybie. I know I am. But don't be afraid to be happy, Tom." She scooped Marigold up in her arms. "Never be afraid to be happy."

Xxxxxxx

A/N please review


	3. Chapter 3

Firsts

Cora left the nursery as Nanny and the children played happily with Tom. The former chauffeur had taken to fatherhood better than expected. She knew Sybil would be proud of him. She knew she was.

"Ah Mary!" She called out as she saw her oldest child approach her. "George is on top form in the nursery. I think he's enjoying having Tom there. Another male - less outnumbered with Marigold and Sybil."

"True. This house is very female dominated." Mary smiled slightly. "Did Tom mention his new venture? With my husband?"

"No." Cora ushered her towards the sitting room. "What is it?"

"Henry and Tom have set out to buy a garage. To repair and maintain motorcars." She raised an eyebrow. "All that engine oil!"

"Good for them!" Cora smiled. "Oh come now, Mary. Your husband isn't going to race cars anymore. Doesn't mean he doesn't have an interest in them. What he and Tom don't know about cars isn't worth knowing."

"Well, yes."

"Then why?"

"In six months we will have another baby in the house. What if he wants to race again? Being around those that do? The cars?" Mary frowned. Cora shook her head.

"Do you and Edith actually talk to your husbands? I've been a married woman a very long time. I was sixteen when I met Robert. Eighteen when we married and you appears nine months later."

"Seven months Mother. I've always been good at maths."

"You were, early." Cora blushed. "Talk to him. These thirty or so years we've been together we've always talked. It is best to get the fears out in the open. Honestly, the poor man is not a mind reader." She shook her head as Mrs Hughes appeared. Mary fell silent, knowing her mother was right.

Xxxxxx

The walk to the cottage seemed to calm her, but Mrs Patmore knew that being away from the house for a while would be good. She had been desperate to see Anna and baby Joseph. She looked up to see Anna on the doorstep of the cottage with the baby in her arms.

"Anna!"

"Mrs Patmore."

"Beryl." She corrected.

"There's tea in the pot." She ushered the older woman inside as the dark haired baby stirred.

"Lovely, oh he's like John!"

"Had his father's stubborn streak too." Anna laughed. "I'm outnumbered here."

"Nonsense. Two gorgeous men in the house!"

"I know." Anna smiled at the baby. "So? Gossip. I've missed so much and I've another month before the doctor will let me work again."

"Ah." Beryl sat down.

"Go on?"

"There's a new boy. I think Thomas has taken a shine to him. Daisy is being Daisy and Lady Rose is coming home to live."

"Really?"

"Oh sit down Anna. This will take a while."

Xxxxx

A/N please review


	4. Chapter 4

Gossip

"Lady Rose is coming back to England? Really?" Anna poured two cups of tea from the pot as Beryl nodded. The baby slept peacefully.

"So I heard."

"I like Lady Rose." Anna decided. "Did you know Lady Mary spoke to her father and he's agreed that when I go back to work Albert can stay in the nursery?"

"Times are changing."

"Yes." Anna smiled. "So? What else have I missed?"

"Does John not tell you anything?"

"He doesn't see the same things we do. You know what men are like." Anna shrugged. "How's the new footman?"

"Dafydd. Seems nice enough."

"And?"

"Well I've only seen him for five minutes." Beryl laughed.

Xxxxxxxxz

Tom stared at the garage doors, smiling as the sign above the entrance was changed. The workmen carried on as Tom picked Sybil up.

"What do you think?"

"Branson." She tilted her head as she read the sign.

"That's our name. Can you read the rest? Remember break down the words." Tom reminded his daughter as she frowned.

"Um."

"Try your best."

"Branson and Ta tal Talbot cars!" She beamed as she realised she had read the sign.

"Put the words together."

"Branson and Talbot cars." She smiled as Tom picked her up and placed her over his shoulders. The little girl squealed in delight.

"Henry and I are going to fix broken cars."

"Yey!" Sybby clapped her hands. "Bravo!"

"Seems you have a young lady's approval." The workman walked over to him.

"It does."

"Yes." The four year old nodded. Tom smiled. His daughter was anything but shy. "I'm going to fix cars when I'm a grown up." Tom watched as the workman smirked.

"Is that a job for a woman? Never mind a Lady!"

"Why not?" Sybil struggled so that Tom had to lift her down. "Daddy?"

"I don't see anything wrong in anyone liking cars, whether they're a man or woman. Your mum was a great driver. I see no reason for you not to be. And Aunt Edith drives too."

"Then so shall I. Once I'm bigger." She folded her arms in defiance as Tom ushered her away from the workmen. Times had changed, largely due to the Suffragettes, the war and industry changing but it seemed some attitudes had a long way to go.

Xxxxxxx

"Carson." Robert walked into the library with his head butler. "The new boy? Is he settling in?"

"Seems to be my Lord."

"May I ask you something? Not related to the house?" He watched as Carson raised an eyebrow. "This shaking business. Your hands, have you seen a doctor?"

"No, no my Lord. That is not required. My grandfather had it and so did my late father. It is called Parkinson's disease. Only when my father had it there wasn't a name!fir it. It's just something I have to get along with."

"And Mrs Carson?"

"Elsie." He paused. "My wife understands my wishes. Although she doesn't really agree."

"I see." Robert shook his head. "Welcome to married life. Where one person is always right and the other is the husband." Carson tried not to laugh, but watching three Crawley sisters grow up and marry as well as Cora and Robert he knew his lordship was right.

"So do as she says and see a neurologist."

"I'd rather not."

"If it's money."

"No." Carson raised a hand. "It's not that. Although I am aware I don't have that kind of money, it's more I want to carry on as I am for as long as I can." He sighed. "Parkinson's Disease, there is no cure. I know this already and I do not wish to spend what time I have left being pulled about by physicians."

"I see." Robert paused. "Carson."

"If that is all, M'lord." He turned and left the room, feeling as old and fragile as ever.

Xxxxxxx

A/N please review


	5. Chapter 5

Shaky start

Dafydd sat at the kitchen table as Carson walked into the room. He immediately got to his feet.

"Sit down. You'll spend enough time on your feet in this house." Carson smiled kindly. "How are you settling in? I dare say Mrs Patmore and Mrs Carson will help you."

"Yes, they've both been very kind."

"Good." He knew his wife would mother the young boy, just as she had Anna, Thomas and the various waifs and strays that had spent time in the Abbey. He knew she thought of them all as family. Just as Beryl Patmore mothered Ivy and Daisy, she mothered the others. He knew his wife would have been an excellent mother. It broke his heart to see she never had the opportunity.

"Sir?"

"Can I ask you something? Please tell me if I'm being impertinent."

"I shall." Carson poured himself a glass of water before sitting down. "Go on."

"My former employer. Did they tell you why I left? Does Mr Barrow know?"

Carson sighed, punching the bridge of his nose.

"You are part of the Downton family now. Your past is just that. I think you'll find that this household is more liberal in many ways than your former employer. We have high standards. Don't be mistaken. But we also understand the world is changing. The good Lord above constantly challenges us and we must rise to those challenges. So to answer your question. Yes, the footman there - a Dilwyn Lloyd called me and informed me of the indiscretion. He witnessed."

"Oh." Dafydd closed his eyes.

"But as I informed him, I saw no way in which that would affect your ability to do the job you were employed to do. Do you?"

"No mr Carson."

"Good."

"Thank you."

"All I ask, is that you do the job you were employed to do in the best of your ability and that you respect this house. Is that clear?"

"Yes." Dafydd smiled as Barrow walked in with Mosley at his side. "I should get on." Carson nodded, aware of the looks between Thomas and the new boy. He sighed heavily, knowing the dynamics of the house were about to get even more complicated. He just hoped his Elsie would help him make sense of the new world he found himself in.

Xxxxxxxxx

"I like the sign." Sybil held her father's hand as he walked alongside her. "Its pretty."

"Pretty?" Tom smiled. The child nodded as he lifted her into the car. "I don't think your Aunt Mary would call it that."

"She's po faced!"

"Sybil Branson! Where did you hear that expression?" He tried not to laugh as she shrugged.

"Grandpa."

"Grandpa called Aunt Mary Pofaced? Really?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I heard him and Aunt Edith. He said he wished Aunt Mary would be happy and not be so po faced all the time."

"I see." Tom shook his head. He made a mental note to speak to Robert about how he had to watch his words around the children. But seeing as the man idolised all three grandchildren he had no idea if the man would listen. "Home? Yes?"

"Yes." She frowned. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Sybbie."

Her eyes were suddenly wide, on the brink of tears. Tom frowned, wondering where the fear in her eyes had come from.

"Am I a bad girl? Nanny said I am a mongrel. That I'm not a good girl. That Marigold is a bast."

"That's enough. No; you are a good girl. You are beautiful, funny and very clever. And as for Marigold, she is your cousin and she is very much loved and wanted just like you and George. Ok?" He paused. "Nanny won't ever say those things to you three or about you three again. Are we clear?"

She nodded before wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her back. He knew Cora and Edith would be furious but he had to tell them. Times were changing, he didn't even think they needed an old battle axe as a Nanny. School seemed to suit him as a boy and he knew Edith was keen for Marigold to go to school. He frowned, suddenly determined to make things right for his daughter and niece and nephew whatever it took.

Xxxxxxx

A/N please review


	6. Chapter 6

Reassessment

Tom walked back into the house with Sybil by his side. He had been careful to hide his anger at what his daughter had told him. He had known Cora had chosen the nanny because of her impeccable references but it was 1926 not 1826 and he would not have his daughter terrified of the woman who was looking after her. He looked up as Thomas walked towards him.

"Miss Branson." Thomas smiled at the little girl who ran towards him.

"Mr Daddy took me to see the cars. And I read the sign and I am going to drive the cars like mummy did!"

"That's excellent news." He smiled at the young girl. Tom shook his head.

"I think Mr Barrow might be a bit busy." Tom watched as Thomas shook his head.

"Not at all." He watched as Sybil smiled broadly. "I've always time for Miss Sybil."

"The cars are huge!" She held her arms out. "And very shiny. The sign says Branson and Talbot cars and I read it all by myself!"

"That she did." Tom smiled proudly. "Her reading is coming on very well."

"Clever girl. Like her mother." Thomas smiled as the young girl smiled happily. "I think Miss Marigold and Master George are with your Aunt Mary and they are going to see Anna and the baby."

"Can I go? I love Anna!"

"If Aunt Mary is happy to take you I see no reason why not." Tom smiled as his only child ran through the house I search of her cousins. "Thank you, Thomas. She adores you. Always has."

"The girl has excellent judgement skills." Thomas nodded.

"Can I ask you what your thoughts are on the nanny?"

"Mrs. Morris?" Thomas shook his head. "I know she had been employed by some extremely influential families. But if you are asking what my personal thoughts on the old bag are."

"I am and I think you just made them clear." He nodded. "Why don't you like her?"

"Caring for children is not my forte. Far from it." He watched as the former driver nodded. "But I'd like to think Lady Sybil was a friend. She worked alongside me in the hospital during the War and as her friend I feel I have to say my piece." Tom nodded ushering him into the Drawing Room.

"Be frank."

"The woman is sweetness and light when any adult is around but has a vicious streak. More than once I've stepped in when she's referred to Miss Marigold in less than polite terms. The same for Miss Sybil. I dread to think what her conduct will be towards young Archie when Anna returns to the house."

"Thank you Thomas." Tom frowned. "That's all I needed to hear." Now more concerned than ever he headed up to the library knowing he had to talk to Edith before taking on Mrs Morris. Thomas watched him go before turning to see the newest member of the household arrive.

"Dafydd? Is everything alright?"

"Yes Mr Barrow." There was something the way the young Welsh man looked at him that caught him off guard. He didn't know what it was but he was certain that no other men looked at him in quite the same way.

"Then is there something I can help you with?"

"Not today." Dafydd smiled as Thomas blushed. "But one day, maybe." He walked away as Thomas frowned. It was turning out to be a very strange day and he wasn't sure what to make of it all.

Xxxxx


	7. Chapter 7

Strange Days

Cora looked up as Tom bounded into the nursery. She could see her son in law was upset about something but had no idea what.

"Tom? Whatever is the matter?"

Her American accent hadn't softened in the forty years she had been in England. She wondered if it ever would.

"Mrs Morris?"

"She's gone into town. I'm afraid she's leaving us. Her, Edith and Mary had words."

"Really?"

"Yes. Apparently George asked Mary what a 'bastard' is and why Sybil was called a mongrel. By your demeanour I'm guessing you have had a similar conversation." Cora sighed as Tom nodded. "I dismissed her instantly. George and Marigold are with Mary."

"I know. They're visiting Anna and the baby."

"To think that woman came highly recommend! How dare she? How dare she say those things to innocent children? To my grandchildren?" Cora narrowed her eyes. "I refused her a reference. I'd rather a rat catcher care for the children than her!"

"Sybie has been asking some unusual questions. I'm glad she felt she could ask me. What now? I know Marigold will be educated in London but what about when she's here? Sybil is doing well at school as is George. Do we need a nanny?" He asked as Cora nodded. A quiet knock on the nursery door caught their attention. Tom stepped back as Thomas stood in the doorway with the new maid at his side.

"Lady Cora, this is Alice. She's been with us a few months now."

"I know. Is everything alright?" Cora frowned. She had always liked the young man her daughter had befriended but knew his morals had been questionable in his younger days.

"Yes, My Lady. Alice has experience of looking after children in her previous employment." Thomas smiled. Alice blushed.

"Is this right, Alice?"

"Yes My Lady."

"As a nanny?"

"Not as such." Alice paused, her long blonde hair trailing over her shoulder. "I used to look after the children of the house. Only four if them and only when Nanny Caswell was indisposed."

"Indisposed?" Tom smiled slightly, knowing the old woman's reputation.

"When the Ale House was open or when it was too tiring for her following a visit to the Ale House." Thomas explained. Cora raised an eyebrow.

"Alice? A trial period? A month? Would that suit you?"

"Yes, My Lady, thank you."

"Well then." Cora smiled. "Monday you can start being a governess of sorts. Thank you Thomas. Alice." They knew they were dismissed as Cora spoke. Alice practically skipped out of the room. Thomas rolled his eyes as he followed her, closing the doors of the nursery behind him.

"Thank you!" Alice gushed as Thomas shrugged.

"All part of the new me." He frowned as she tilted her head. Alice hadn't been there when he had cut his wrists. It seemed a life time ago. He shook his head as Dafydd appeared in the hallway. The young Welshman seemed to catch his attention every time he saw him. Simply being in the same room reduced him to the mental capacity of a teenage boy. He knew what Carson would say. Nodding to him he turned before heading towards the kitchen. It had been a long time since he had felt for anyone what he was feeling now. He liked Dafydd, but it was almost certain his feelings would be rebuked. He didn't want that again. He barrelled into Baxter before he could stop himself.

"Mr Barrow."

"Sorry. I'm sorry."

"Whatever is the matter?" She looked up at him, suddenly concerned. "Thomas?"

"I shouldn't have come back."

"Here? Of course you should. This is where you belong." She smiled kindly. "Come on, we're friends aren't we? Tell me what's troubling you."

He shook his head, aware of the prying eyes and ears that could be around. He nodded.

"You'll think me a fool."

"And then my opinion of you wont change." She teased as he sighed. "Oh Thomas! What is it?"

"I." He closed his eyes. "I think I'm in love."

"That's wonderful!"

"Is it?"

"Who is she?"

"Keep your voice down! It's a him, not a her and that's why it is anything but wonderful. It's illegal!" Thomas slumped, utterly defeated. "It's 1920s England and I am an abomination."

"No you aren't. You're my friend." She touched his arm. He smiled slightly. "And since when was love wrong? Come on, I'll make us some tea." She led him away hoping she could convince the new butler that everything would work itself out.

Dddddddd


	8. Chapter 8

Tea?

The kitchen seemed to be deserted as Baxter filled the teapot with scalding hot water. Thomas stared at his hands, on the verge of tears. Vulnerability was something new to him. When afraid or upset he lashed out - created pain and torment for others as a way of preserving his own peace. It hasn't worked. Cutting his wrists in the bath hadn't even worked. He felt a failure in every sense of the word.

"Thomas?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Two reasons. Firstly I wanted a drink of tea. Secondly and most importantly I believed us to be friends."

"I don't deserve a friend."

"That, Thomas Barrow is not for you to decide." She smiled at him. "And, for your information I am more than able to choose who I befriend."

Thomas shrugged.

"I'm trying my best to be a better man."

"You are." Phyllis Baxter sat next to him. "You are a different man to the one I met. Thomas, I think for the first time we are seeing the real you. What you did for Alice earlier, for the children was lovely."

"I cannot abide cruelty to children. It's evil. Pure evil the things Miss Marigold and Miss Sybil were being called." He sipped his tea. Phyllis nodded.

"Yes. But you didn't have to step in."

"I did."

Phyllis smiled. She had no idea why the young butler hated himself. Times had changed, people were more accepting now the War was over. There was still prejudice in the world but she knew most people kept to their own business.

"I'm an aberration."

"Tell me. What makes you that? Because I don't see it."

"I."

"Explain."

"You are being courted by Mr Mosely? Yes? Anna and Mr Bates courted. I've no interest in courting a lady,"

"Nothing wrong with that."

"I know. But I've never wanted to and I know I never shall. The way you feel regards Mr Mosely is the way I regard men. Not him."

"No, not him." She held his hand. "You told me you're in love with a man. That you have feelings that you don't think would be reciprocated?"

"Yeah." He looked away. "It's abnormal."

"Why? Because some pompous fool took the moral high ground a million years ago and decreed it?"

"The Bible."

"My Bible only talks about love, not hate. It's not my place to judge. Not anyone else either."

"Its illegal."

"The law is stupid. You're homosexual. That's all. While I can see the law makes it difficult I don't see why they have to find out. It's not a crime to love."

Thomas blinked back tears. Before she knew it Baxter was on her feet, holding him to her as he sobbed.

"You're a good man, Thomas." She held him tightly. "Hush now." She soothed as he wrapped his arms around her waist and cried.

Xxxx


	9. Chapter 9

Love

John walked into the cottage he shared with Anna and their son absolutely exhausted. The only thing keeping him awake was the thought of seeing Anna and his son at the end of the day.

"Hello." Anna smiled as he walked into the kitchen. "You look all in."

"Hello to you too." He smiled, crossing the room to kiss her. "It's been a very long day. I heard you had visitors."

"We did. I think Miss Marigold was very taken with the baby. Asked where he came from. I thought Lady Mary would choke on her tea!"

John burst out laughing. The idea of the four year old girl asking such a question of the most contained member of the Crawley family made him laugh. Anna rolled your eyes.

"It's not funny."

"I think it is. What did she say? Mary?"

"Once recovered she had three little faces staring at her. I had to step in." Anna shook her head, heading towards the stove. "Tea?"

"Please. What did you say then?"

"Love. I said he came from love as did each of them. That when a couple love each other like we do magic happens and sometimes a baby is the result but you should be a grown up first." She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her neck.

"Good answer."

"It's the truth. Arthur did." She closed her eyes as he kissed her again. It amazed her that after everything they had been through they were together - a family.

Xxxxxz

Thomas looked up as Dafydd walked into the room. The kitchen was deserted as the young man made his way towards the sink, pouring himself a glass of water.

"Busy day."

"As it always is." Thomas answered. "You'll find things a lot busier here than in north Wales."

"Yes, I can see that." Dafydd paused. "Mr Barrow. Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead." Thomas looked away, finding the marking on the table where Daisy had put a too hot pan down once. He stared at the mark, determined not to look Dafydd in the eye.

"Have I offended you in some way? Please tell me if I have."

"No." Thomas looked up, immediately captivated by the blue eyes that stared back at him. "Not at all."

"I would hate for us to get off on the wrong foot." Dafydd sat next to him. Thomas nodded.

"I would hate to think we had, although I'm sure there have been plenty of stories of me in this place."

"I prefer not to listen to gossip. I know there's been plenty about me." Thomas looked up as he spoke. "You may heard of my indiscretion back in Prestatyn." He covered Thomas' hand with his own.

"I." Thomas snapped his hand away before staring up at the younger man. "I can't do this."

"Oh." Dafydd pulled his hand away as if he had been burned. "I overheard you with Miss Baxter- I'm sorry. I misread the signs."

"Eavesdropping." Thomas shook his head, not sure whether to laugh or cry. He sighed heavily before leaving the room.

Xxxx


	10. Chapter 10

Awkward

Thomas headed towards his quarters, ignoring the giggling from Daisy and Susie - the new scullery maid. It seemed the young girls found something hilarious in one of the periodicals they were reading. He had to admit he found the same actor they fawned over attractive but knew he could never admit it. He nodded towards Mrs Carson as he headed towards his own room.

"Thomas?" The soft Scottish accent caught his attention. He paused.

"Good evening, Mrs Carson er Hughes. I'm never sure what to address you as." He smiled slightly as she laughed.

"Either will suffice. How about Elsie when we're not on duty. Although, if you listen to my husband we always are!"

"Very true." Thomas nodded.

"You look troubled."

"I'm tired."

"Then get some rest, my boy. Is it only tiredness? I'd like to be able to help, if I may." She watched as he sighed. He knew she had been keeping an eye on him since he had attempted suicide a few months earlier. He nodded.

"I just need a good night's sleep."

"If you're sure."

"Thank you. I am." He stepped into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. He just hoped sleep would be easy to find.

Cxxxxx

"Charlie Carson." Elsie smiled as she walked into his private chamber. "What on earth are you doing?"

He looked up as his wife carried two mugs of tea into the room. Smiling slightly he set the shoebox to one side.

"Looking for the name of the physician that cared for my father. I dare say, he had long since died."

"But?"

"I thought it possible that there may be a new medical device, a drug that might help these infernal shakes! There have been so many advances. Your toast maker for one."

"Toaster." She smiled. "It's called a toaster." Carson shook his head.

"It's new fangled- which made me think that there might be something new for these infernal shakes." Carson sighed. "I am not holding out much hope."

"Well I am." She crossed the room to him. Placing her hands on both sides of his face she stared into his eyes. "I will never give up on you, Charles Carson. Do you hear me?"

"I do."

"Good." She kissed him. "So. The doctor may well have died but you think the practice may still be in business?"

"Possibly." He sighed. "It'll be expensive. I remember Mother going to moneylenders. I was only a boy."

"Nothing more valuable than good health. The money can be found. Somehow." She picked up the shoebox next to the one he had been searching through. "Come on then." He smiled as she sat at the table, opening the box.

"What did I do to deserve you?" He asked quietly.

"Och, I do wonder at times." She teased as he shook his head.

Cxxxx


	11. Chapter 11

Modern

Thomas rested his head back against his bedroom door, he was exhausted and confused. His tie undone as he tugged on the buttons. He wanted to sleep, keep his thoughts to himself and move on.

"Thomas." He took a deep breath as he thought about the young Welshman and the meeting in the kitchen. He knew that there was no way he could pursue the way he felt about the young man. He knew that the society he lived in wouldn't have accepted it. Falling in love was more difficult this it was for other people. He closed his eyes; the unfairness of it all made him feel sick. John Bates had courted and married a younger woman, Carson had married Mrs Hughes, Tom and Sybil had transcended class and status but him? He could be arrested.

"I can't do this." He ran a hand over his eyes before throwing his shirt into the corner of the room. He laid on the bed, face down he gripped the pillow in one hand and buried his face in it. Tears slipped unheeded from his eyes as his body shook with sobs.

Xxxxxx

Dafydd splashed water on his face as he leant over the small handbasin. He knew he had been uncouth, made the new butler uncomfortable. Sighing he had no idea if he should say something; apologise for his actions. Grabbing the small hand towel he ran it across his face, swearing under his breath. He had made a mistake. Clearly Thomas Barrow was not gay, but he had been sure.

"Idiot. Absolute idiot."

He drained the basin before heading towards his bed. Sleep, he seemed to think would help.

Xxxxxx

"Blast!" Elsie shook her head. The shoeboxes now emptied on the table. The various cards and papers hiding the pattern on the table cloth.

"I really thought it would be here. Somewhere."

"Doesn't matter." Elsie covered his hand as it shook slightly. "There'll be a record somewhere. Come on now. Bed." She led him away as he turned away from the table.

"Elsie."

"Och, we can clear that up in the morning. We can rest. Fresh mind tomorrow and I'm sure we can find something. I don't know about you but I'm all in." She smiled as he nodded wearily.

"You're right. I am tired." He kissed her hand before letting her lead him to the bedroom.

Xxx


	12. Chapter 12

Awakening

Thomas lifted his head from the pillow to look at the clock a few feet away. His throat was sore and his eyes stung from the tears that had soaked his pillow. Berating himself he stared at the clock, knowing he had another few hours before he was expected downstairs. He just had to get through the day, he reminded himself. The next day was his half day. He could escape the Abbey for a few hours - precious peace and quiet that he rarely enjoyed.

Xxxxxx

Elsie rolled onto her left side as she heard her husband snore slightly. She smiled as the normally stoic and abrupt demeanour had faded away as sleep overcame him. She was still surprised to have found herself married to her dearest friend but she knew no one else was. Her romantic life had been a thing of the past until Charlie Carson had come into her life. Now she was determined to help him in whatever way he needed. Gently she rested her hand over his nightshirt, covering his heart.

"We'll find a way." She whispered. "It's what we do." He mumbled in his sleep as a hand covered hers. She smiled slightly, hoping that somehow her words had slipped into his subconscious. "I love you, you old curmudgeon." She whispered before closing her eyes. A deep grumble came from the man next to her.

"Less of the old, please." He whispered before kissing her hand. Elsie rolled her eyes before letting sleep take her.

Xxxx

Anna woke suddenly, terrified she realised baby Arthur hadn't woken her with his cries. She flung the blanket over her, heart pounding as she searched the darkened room.

"John!" She barrelled into the living room, almost falling in her haste to reach it.

"Hush!" John smiled slightly. "We didn't want to wake you." He turned to see Anna almost in tears. "Whatever is wrong?" He was suddenly concerned. The baby sleeping soundly against his bare chest. He knew she still had nightmares, that she would relive Green's attack and the aftermath. She shook her head.

"Arthur. I didn't hear him cry."

"I know." John crossed to her. "Everything is fine. I was awake when he stirred. He's fine, see?" She swallowed hard. "I thought you needed to sleep." Anna smiled slightly, still slightly shaken. It was obvious that she wasn't going to completely calm for a while.

"Did I wake you?"

"No. Arthur usually needs feeding around now." Anna sighed. "I change and feed him."

"Well, he's changed."

"John Bates, you changed a nappy?" She raised an eyebrow. He smirked. "Really?"

"Yes. Is that so hard to believe? I'm a modern man. It's not 1822 anymore!"

"I know." She smiled slightly as he handed her the baby.

"Unfortunately feeding is down to you." He kissed her as the baby stirred slightly. Anna nodded. "I'll get you some water to drink. I always remember my mother drinking lots of water and tea when she had to feed my younger sister." He headed into the kitchen as Anna sat in the rocking chair feeding the baby.

"How did I get so lucky?" Anna asked the baby as his brown eyes stared up at her. "Eh? I don't know."

Xxxxxxxx

Dafydd stepped out into the corridor, knowing what he was doing could be construed as foolish. Sighing, he knew he had been called worse. He had to know. He just had to. His mind wouldn't rest until he had asked the question. If he was about to offend the other man then so be it. He ran a hand across his face sneaking quietly passed the room Ivy and Lucy shared, hoping the maids didn't hear him. Moments later he was at his destination. Gently curling his hand around the door handle he turned it. Holding his breath he slipped into the room.

"Thomas?"

"What!" Thomas sat up in bed, staring at the young Welshman. Dafydd say on the edge of the bed holding his gaze. Thomas was about to say something when Dafydd reached out, running his thumb across his lips.

"I had to know." Dafydd whispered as he leant in, kissing him gently. Thomas pulled back staring at him as he processed what had just happened. "I." Thomas rested a hand on the other man's neck, drawing him in for an explosive kiss as passion and need took over. He pulled back when the need for oxygen overwhelmed him.

"Know what?" Thomas breathed heavily before kissing the man again, his hands burying themselves in Dafydd's dark blonde hair. No more questions were asked as they gave in to how they really felt. Thomas felt another tear escape as Dafydd brought his hand to his lips, kissing along the palm until he reached the scar.

"I."

"Ssh, fy cariad. It'll be ok. Somehow, we'll make this ok." He looked up as Thomas nodded before kissing him once more.

Xxx


End file.
